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Dear Hayley

January 22nd 2019

Dear Hayley,
I am in my thirties and have been with my wife now for five years. We are both very happy together and wouldn’t change a thing. But when the holidays come around things get very stressful my family is not supportive of my wife and me because we are gay. They always want me to come to the holiday celebrations but ask me to leave my wife behind. I have done so every other year and it tears me apart because I know it isn’t fair to my wife. My wife is very understanding and makes far less of a big deal about it than it actually is but I know she’s lonely at that time because she doesn’t have much family of her own. Now that this last round of holidays is over, I realize I’m done putting up with my family’s attitude towards her and would like to start coming up with solutions to combat next years inevitable predicament. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
-In A Pickle
Dear In A Pickle,
You’ve found a wonderful partner to be so caring and understanding with something this prejudice. Your family does not seem to be so understanding and it is extremely important to stand up for yourself and the life you live and the people you choose to love. The fact that they have been very unaccepting for so long means they probably will continue to be this way. I’d considering telling them you will not be coming to the next set of family holidays a few months prior to the festivities and tell them why. You deserve to be with the people who love and accept you always but especially at the holidays and so does your wife who has been very gracious and patient for long enough. If they still want to see you after hearing the news let them know you won’t be there unless you’re there with your wife. Giving them the few months ahead of time could help them come around to it, if not you still have enough time to plan your own festivities. Stick to your choice, you only need to be around people who make you happy and not people who pick and choose which parts of you to love and accept.
-Hayley

If you would like to submit a question to Dear Hayley please email Hayley.miltontimes@gmail.com

January 14th 2019

Dear Hayley,
I’m getting on in years and have started making up my will and trying to decide who I’d like my jewelry to go to. I Have two daughters and a son I love them all dearly but my oldest daughter has never been appreciative of the things I’ve given her. She has hinted that she wants my jewelry when I pass but I don’t feel comfortable giving it to her. Should I anyways? Or give it to my other daughter, who I know will appreciate it, and my son to pass down to his daughters.
-Asking Too Much

Dear Asking Too Much,
It is your jewelry and you can do with it what you please. If you worry it will make your oldest feel left out when you’re gone, select one piece to give to her and divvy the rest as you see fit between your other children. If that’s not the case, give it to those you know will appreciate it. No one has a say in it but you.
-Hayley

If you would like to submit a question to Dear Hayley please email hayley.miltontimes@gmail.com

 

January 7th 2019

Dear Hayley! If you would like to submit a question please email hayley.miltontimes@gmail.com

Dear Hayley,
I’m thirty I have my own home, car, and good paying job. The problem is my mother is constantly trying to butt in on decisions I make in my life and often offers unwanted advice that frankly, isn’t all that helpful. I understand she’s coming from a loving place and means well, but it has become overbearing. How can I get this to stop without hurting her feelings?
-Overbearing Mom

Dear Overbearing,
Though your mother is coming from a good place, you aren’t a child anymore and it’s important for her to realize, even though you’ll always be her kid, you are an adult now and the line has to be drawn. The best thing to do is sit down and talk with her about it. Let her know how it has been making you feel and that you wish she’d tone it back a bit. It is possible her feelings will be hurt, but this is as important for you as it is for her to work through if you want to continue having a good relationship. I think if you just tell her from the heart where you’re coming from she will understand even if taken aback at first.
-Hayley

December 31st 2018

Dear Hayley!
If you would like to send in a question please email hayley.miltontimes@gmail.com

Dear Hayley,
I got invited to a party by some friends but I don’t know what to wear. I’m strapped for cash but want to wear something I haven’t already worn over and over again. What should I do?
– Lacking Wardrobe

Dear Lacking Wardrobe,
Check out some thrift stores around your area and try a couple different ones. If you look long enough you can definitely find something you like for a reasonable price.
-Hayley

December 24th 2018
This week we have two submissions thank you so much. If you would like to write a question for Dear Hayley please email hayley.miltontimes@gmail.com

Dear Hayley,
I’m dreading our first snow storm. When it snows I shovel my driveway and walkway. My neighbor also shovels his, but throws the snow in my driveway. What should I do?
-Aching Back

Dear Aching Back,
The best solution I can think of is to talk to him and ask if he would throw his snow in a different place. But remember if you come across as angry and demanding it’s likely they will throw snow in your driveway out of spite. So as frustrating as it may be just try to talk it over calmly and politely.
-Hayley

Dear Hayley,
My boyfriend and I have been dating a few months now. Recently I feel like he has stopped paying attention to me and I don’t know what to do. I like him but I’m starting to feel ignored.
-Fed Up

Dear Fed Up,
I suggest telling him how you’re feeling if you haven’t already. If after you’ve talked about it together things still aren’t changing you should move on. Open communication is important in a healthy relationship. If your aren’t feeling loved and heard you need to do whats best for you. You are too important to be with someone who doesn’t recognize that and there is bound to be someone else out there who will.
-Hayley

 

December 17th 2018

First Dear Hayley!
Dear Hayley will go up on Monday every week.
To send a question email hayley.miltontimes@gmail.com

Dear Hayley, I’m looking to get Christmas presents for my family the only problem is I have a large family and I’m not in the most financially stable place. What is a good solution to make sure I get something for everyone?

-Mary Ann of Milton

Dear Mary Ann,

Perhaps you could try making gifts for your family. It would be cost effective but also show that you put care and time into each individual present. A few ideas are: Knitted items (Hats, mittens, scarfs), personalized picture frames with photos of you and the person you’re giving them to, or maybe even some crafty jewelry made from string and beads.

-Hayley Bradford